Grief is one of the most human experiences we can go through, and yet it’s often one of the most misunderstood. As a Christian therapist here in Gilbert, AZ, I’ve walked alongside many people who feel unsure about how to handle their grief. Some wonder if they’re grieving the “wrong” way. Others worry that their emotions mean their faith is weak. I want to remind you today that grief is not only natural, it is holy ground. Even Jesus Himself grieved. We know He wept at the tomb of Lazarus. He lamented over Jerusalem. He cried out in anguish on the cross. If the Son of God expressed grief, then we too are allowed to bring our sorrow honestly before God.

In this post, I want to share a few common patterns I encourage people to avoid while grieving. I’ll then offer encouragement and hope for what it can look like to grieve with faith, honesty, and when needed, Christian counseling.

Pattern to Avoid #1: Believing Christians Should Always Be Strong

One of the biggest struggles I see is the idea that grief means you’re weak or lacking faith. Sometimes well-meaning people will say, “God gives you strength, so don’t cry.” But this misses the heart of Scripture. God does give us strength, but His Word also says He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He does not shame us for our tears. Instead, He draws close in the midst of them. Grief is not a failure of faith, it is a reflection of love.

When you give yourself permission to feel the weight of loss, you step into the same kind of honesty Jesus modeled. Tears are not wasted in God’s kingdom. They are collected and seen.Pattern to Avoid #2: Trying to Rush the Process

Grief has no timeline. Many people feel pressured to “move on” quickly, whether from cultural expectations, family members, or even church communities. But grief doesn’t follow a calendar. Healing takes time, and every journey looks different. Forcing yourself to “be okay” before you’re ready can lead to more pain later. Grieving fully means giving yourself permission to honor and process your loss without a deadline.

Remember, moving forward does not mean forgetting. It means slowly learning to live with love and loss in the same space, carrying the memory of what mattered into the future.

Pattern to Avoid #3: Stuffing Down Emotions

Some Christians fear that showing anger, sadness, or even doubt dishonors God. But the Psalms are filled with raw expressions of grief, anger, and confusion. God invites honesty. Pretending you’re “fine” when your heart is breaking is not what He asks of you. What not to do? Don’t silence your soul. Your emotions are not enemies to be pushed away, they are signals pointing you to what matters most.

Through faith-based counseling, we come to accept that healthy grief often looks messy. Tears, questions, silence, or even laughter through tears are all part of the process. None of this makes you less spiritual. It makes you real, and God meets us in that reality.

Pattern to Avoid #4: Comparing Your Grief to Others

Another trap is comparison. You might think, “My loss isn’t as big as theirs, so I shouldn’t feel this sad.” Or, “Why am I not over this yet, when others seem to be?” But grief is personal. No two stories are the same. When you compare your journey to someone else’s, you dismiss the unique weight of your own loss and its impact on your mental health. God sees your pain, and He cares deeply about it.

Comparison robs you of compassion for yourself. Instead of minimizing your grief, invite God into the exact place where you are. He is present in your story, not someone else’s.

Pattern to Avoid #5: Believing Hope Cancels Out Grief

As Christians, we cling to the truth that we do not grieve as those without hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). But hope does not erase grief. It transforms it. Hope anchors us in the promise of resurrection and eternal life, but it doesn’t numb the ache of the present moment. We can hold both grief and hope at the same time. In fact, this tension is the very space where God often meets us most powerfully.

This is where the gospel becomes deeply personal. Because Jesus entered into human suffering, we can trust that pain, loss, and disappointment are never the end of the story. Even so, we are still allowed to feel the ache of things not being the way they should be. Whether grief comes through death, broken relationships, infertility, or dreams that feel shattered, God meets us in that grief with compassion and hope.

What Can Grieving With Hope Look Like?

If these are things not to do, then what does it mean to grieve in a healthy, faith-filled way? In my Christian counseling practice in Gilbert, AZ, I often encourage people to:

• Allow space to lament. Give yourself permission to cry, to journal, to pray the honest prayers. God can handle your sorrow.
• Lean on community. Let others bring you meals, pray with you, or simply sit beside you. Grief was never meant to be carried alone.
• Remember your humanity. Grief reminds us that we are human, created for love and connection. Feeling deeply is not weakness, it’s proof of how much you’ve loved.
• Fix your eyes on Jesus. When everything feels heavy, look to the One who carried both sorrow and victory. He knows what it is to weep, and He knows what it is to rise.
• Practice gentleness with yourself. Healing is not linear. Some days will feel heavier than others. Instead of judging yourself for the hard days, allow them to be what they are and remind yourself that God’s mercies are new each morning.

Final Reflections From a Christian Therapist in Gilbert

Grief is not something to “get over.” It’s something we walk through with Jesus by our side. As a Christian therapist in Gilbert, I believe the safest thing you can do in grief is to give yourself permission to be fully human and fully held by God. What not to do? Don’t silence, don’t rush, don’t compare, don’t minimize, and don’t believe the lie that grief cancels out hope. Instead, choose to grieve honestly, with faith and with compassion toward yourself.

If you are walking through grief right now, I want you to know this: you are not alone. Your tears matter. Your story matters. And you are allowed to grieve with hope. If you are in the Gilbert area and looking for a Christian grief counseling, know that there is a safe place here for you to process, heal, and find hope again.

Take heart in this truth: Jesus not only understands your grief, He joins you in it. He does not rush you. And He does not shame you. He welcomes you, just as you are, with open arms.

Get Compassionate Support When You’re Hurting Through Christian Grief Counseling in Gilbert, AZ

Grief can feel disorienting, unpredictable, and lonely—especially when faith doesn’t seem to bring the comfort you hoped for. If you’re searching for a place to bring your sorrow, questions, and confusion without judgment, Christian grief counseling can help. Here, you’ll find a safe space to explore your pain honestly while staying connected to the hope and truth of God’s presence.

In my therapy practice in Gilbert, AZ, I walk with individuals who are navigating deep loss, complicated emotions, and the spiritual challenges that often come with grief. You don’t need to have perfect faith or feel “strong enough” to begin. What matters is showing up as you are—hurting, questioning, or even unsure what healing might look like. Together, we’ll honor your story, help you process your pain, and gently rebuild hope in the midst of heartache.

Take the first step toward healing today:

1. Explore how Christian counseling can support you in grief by scheduling a free consultation.
2. Work with a compassionate Christian therapist in Gilbert to process loss and restore peace without minimizing your faith journey.
3. Begin moving forward at your own pace, knowing you’re seen, loved, and never alone.

Other Christian Therapy Services I Provide in Gilbert, Arizona

Grief can feel heavy and isolating, especially when it seems like everyone expects you to be “okay” before you’re ready. Christian counseling creates a compassionate space where your sorrow is honored, your faith is welcomed, and healing begins at a pace that feels right for you. With gentle guidance and Christ-centered support, you can process loss, rebuild strength, and find peace that doesn’t ask you to minimize your pain.

Beyond Christian grief counseling, I provide a range of therapy services to support you through other life challenges. I work with both teens and adults who are navigating the effects of childhood trauma, complex relationship dynamics, or the deep ache of infertility. For those facing lingering wounds or overwhelming memories, I also offer EMDR therapy, a proven approach to help release the emotional weight of past trauma, along with specialized grief counseling for different kinds of loss.

At Building Bridges Collective, faith and mental health care come together to create a safe, nonjudgmental space for growth and renewal. You don’t have to face your pain alone or rush your healing. If you’d like to learn more, explore my Christian therapy blog, visit our FAQ page, or reach out when you’re ready to begin this journey toward hope and restoration.